2014!

I would like to end my first full year dedication to my blogs with a BIG BANG! I did it ! I wrote on two different blog sites regularly ! About 6-8 blogs monthly per site and it wasn’t easy! I will continue to write more and pay more attention to where I wanted to be in 2015!

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When I wrote this last night it was less than 24 hours to year 2015. I don’t really believe in a NY resolution, I think every minute when we make that choice and that decision to change is a new minute of our life ..I also don’t believe in this word ” ready ” ..I think the word ” ready ” brings at times doubts, and with doubts the moments are gone ..And guess what , I know some say ” it’s never too late for anything ” but come on , who are we kidding!! But to each it’s own , right ? We all think different , we see different , we feel different but at the end we all end up in the same place , we get old ( if random allows ) and then we die ! How about these thoughts ,.Lets begin the year with few thoughts and try to stick to it . How about setting aside time to have fun and relax..Serious fun and laughter weekly ..How about if you learn to meditate and teach yourself not to overthink ..How about to see your precious life is worth living because you are good enough to know u are worthy . Take yourself less serious but take the ones who love you more serious..How about if you have hopes and dreams, take them serious …How about when you wake up everyday , you check all , and all is intact , you are healthy and are able to do anything you want ..I believe the only ones who can’t change are the ones who have let the damage take over like a deadly Cancer , a thick thick cloud..And remember somebody out there really does love you and is always willing to help , don’t waste time being others , concentrate on those who truly dig you .

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Past fours years of my life have been simply a strange ride. I lost two close friends , one to suicide and the other to a liver failure ..I have lost pets who were extremely dear to me ..I took leaps on new and old emotions , some I took upon and some I finally decided to let go ..I was disappointed a lot ..But in all of this I learned a few major understandings about myself and people and animals around me, the ones who are gone and the ones who died!

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I began to see myself in different lights . I began to see and regain what I have been about ..I finally began to see the randomness of everything , life and death ! I began to enjoy the joy of me again..What I was really made of that was lost in the interim of caring for others and indeed important at the time, because in my opinion all I took upon myself was important, why, because the universe wanted me to ride it…

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I must admit due to my profession for the last 13 years , I ‘m surrounded with amazing people. Joy is never far from me and the ones who disappointed me, easily most became meaningless to me even to the point of non-existence because they basically only existed for themselves ! And after all I have had so far an amazing life , filled with stories, worthy of a book ! Tales unbelievable even to myself! Its the work of the universe, strength , belief and hoping for more..

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In 2015 , I will recruit powerful people in my life ( in their support ) , trustworthy people ( in their truth ) , caring ( for all beings ) personal board members ! Because I’m AGAIN filled with new plans and I know good people will hold me in my path.

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My dad used to say : ” after one turns 30 , it seems things move faster , learn to take it slow “. This past four years have taught me to exercise that! I learned to stop time!

A friend posted ” how does one change? ” My answer was ”  by changing things that are a part of you “.  As we get older , we hope to become wiser and by becoming wiser we hope to live a more fulfilled life , right? But most people get stuck doing the same old routines that they have known best , because change can be a scary place! They rather be unhappy but in their comfort zone. Change doesn’t have to be drastic and sudden ..I have learned to do it slowly ! As a matter of my fact , it’s more enjoyable ..For instance you will be amazed how different you may feel when you change your food intake ..I’m full blown vegetarian at this point and it began slowly many years ago! In the path of this change, I changed ..I changed in so many ways..Your changes are surprising to people who have known you for a long time but if they are true , then they will understand the goodness upon you..They will..so begin with little things that are a part of you , those little things can move mountains for you later…

Happy New year ..I know it will be a good year ..I just know ! Do you know why , because every year as long as one doesn’t lose a child then the rest is normal! C’est la vie ..life goes on and with we gain even in the times of losses , we learn and we should do it better!

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Somebody thought of me and thanked me !

I’m pretty familiar with my own creative energy. I’m familiar with the facts that I truly don’t live and don’t think like majority of people do..And I cherish it ! I already know when someone wants to discredit it and where they are heading , frankly in their own little dark hole! And once in while there are the ones who see it as what is and they take the ride , because I spread my wings so wide for them where they will easily fit! Thanks for understanding my efforts!
 So she writes  :
22ND DEC 2014 , she writes:
A year ago I undertook an artistic journey which I am now so happy for having taken. Last December I met a very important person to me, which I’m graceful to have met. Thanks to her I’ve grown as a photographer. Banafsheh!!! You are my teacher in photography, you’re the woman who push me to be better in my art. You’re the one that gives me encouragement of faith in all that I have afraid to do.

 Banafsheh without you I would not have a photography studio and clearly without you I wouldn’t have set my first photography show.

 Banafsheh if it wasn’t for you I would have never have gotten into the sea to watch the sunset on a summer afternoon. Our friendship goes beyond the professional aspect, you became my confidant during my love story with Cheeky. You opened my eyes to other kind of people in this world, while giving me your love and adventure stories you pushed me towards my dream. You with your pencil men and I with mine … You taught me never to be quiet when you have something to say. Cruelty towards the animals should not exist and is something that only the ignorant wouldn’t understand. Your house is a beautiful labyrinth, is the kind of house that should become a museum someday. No words to thank you for trusting me for your personal project in 2014-2015.

In 2015 will be a great year for both … a lot more joy and more photography sessions!!!

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Call it wisdom!

This year the ground is not filled with snow and the air is not as cold ..But do you think of these passing moments of beauty ..Do you ever think about the lost momentum when you wished to devour a moment and then its gone ..Moments do go by whether you like if or not ! A deep look at the constant motion of life is crucial to the idea of great living and not just surviving these moments , don’t you think ? How do you measure your own life so far ?

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Another Christmas is approaching , for me it means the end one year , if we count the years !And I have celebrated it perhaps just like you in so many different places and people. The approaching Christmas of this year has brought a few conclusions in my mind, at least  for this year!

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I have lived my life mainly overseas, but I was raised in Iran ! Some may think well since I’m from Iran, what do I know about Christmas ..Little they know I grew up not only in a country with Christianity being the second largest religion in Iran ( yes to this day also) ..I also went to a French school since I was 3 then a few years to full-blown Catholic school where indeed Christmas was celebrated hardcore and off to boarding School and college ( all themed around Christianity except the first two parts living in Iran where both were celebrated in the modern society )  . My parents would let me decorate our very live Ornamental Pine tree every year until the tree was transferred outside and it got so tall that I could not reach anymore !  I had a sweet relationship with trees and never understood why people celebrate around dead trees on Christmas days!  In Iran we celebrate our New year ( Norouz) with everything alive and new !

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Then I thought what a cruel way of celebrating the Christ who was born in July !!!! But guess what, these days I ‘m a confirmed believer people do and believe whatever serves them right ! No matter what ! Even if you give them facts.. I mean just this morning dude I know inbox me back and forth about half of his face in one of my pictures and wants it removed. The image is not even tagged and he is not recognizable..And NOT one soul can see who it is since it doesn’t even look like him! But the point is people are more concerned about Bullshit these days than anything else ! Thats sadly my point when I asked how do you measure your life?

Back to Christmas on a such sunny day today, I take it in stride it is about the gatherings , the gift giving , the food , the eggnog..and I should NOT get upset when I see dead trees laying on street corners for days after all is done and done! But I still do !

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Out of form from the norm I’m ? No ! I’m the norm ! I swear I ‘m the norm . I’m what normal is ! Normal is when one doesn’t understand how people can hurt the voiceless ! I don’t get it when people are careless about “hurt”! I don’t even want to get separated by the word ” kind ” because i expect ALL to be kind!

Have I become too radical from the rest, perhaps! Have I become cynical , perhaps! Well perhaps yes, and more as I have gotten older! this reminds of that brilliant song..

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world’s asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!

At night, when all the world’s asleep,
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am

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But isn’t this kind of strange to grow a beautiful tree..Water it ! Tend to it ! Then it grows tall ! Then it gets a bit stronger! It’s roots are getting stronger ! It’s becoming a great source for our environment and then, bang bang, they are cut for Christmas !! And decorated with STUFF to look only pretty. But the word pretty as light as it is in its entirety it can get done with a fake tree too..One you can use over and over and over!

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The word pretty ..Ah the word pretty ..My beloved mother barely ever said to me that I’m actually ” pretty ” ! “Pretty”  was never important in my household! And in actuality and surrounded with pretty ( to most people) It was ALWAYS about substance, even the pretty stuff ..if they didn’t have substance they would not be around.  My parents , mainly my mother in this case made sure of it ! Thank you mother , you an example on how I live my life today ..if there is no story and substance , indeed useless!

then there is no ” pretty ”

Anyway maturity ( call it ageing if you wish ) has given me a stronger and broader pair of wings to fly! Some may think my thoughts are a bit out there and when they do, it means they actually didn’t know me when I was younger! They need to ask few closer friends! Plus I’m an artist and will say and do anything I want , because ” frankly my dear I dont give a damn” ! Either you run with it or you don’t!

Happiness !

Need i explain more?

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Here is what I got ! Yes, you are looking at the it ..Want more go elsewhere!

Thoreau’s Cape Cod

Thoreau came to the Cape with the eye and mind of one who has lived an inland life and is more accustomed to fresh water than to salt. He had noted the unbroken miles of the outer sands on a map, and thought them a feature of geographical interest which it would be rewarding to explore. Once upon the Cape, however, he did not limit his attention to the outer beach but took note of everything on the entire peninsula which touched his curiosity and his imagination, especially the plants. By temperament, Thoreau was probably more of a botanist than an ornithologist; plants did not move and gave him time both to observe and to consider.

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I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude

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When he descended the earth-cliff at some point a little to the north of Eastham village and its “salt-pond,” Thoreau found what he had come to see. There lay the unbroken miles which had stirred his interest when he had seen them on the map, there stood the outer beach–the “back” beach to native Cape Codders–with the greenish breakers tumbling ashore through what must have been a not-too-heavy October rain.

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The gentle curving westward of the earthen rampart would even then have made impossible any complete vista northerly along the beach; it is a place where one must be content to see only a few miles ahead. Moreover, the day being wet but fit for walking, there surely stood at the distant end of the view that thickening and shapeless bound of rain and ocean mist, that seemingly fixed rounding of vapor towards which one walks but at which one never arrives, a feature which often gives so beautiful a quality of the mysterious to these oceanic sands.

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It is no wonder that the pilgrimage along the beach serves as the literary foundation of the earlier writings which were assembled to makeCape Cod, and I rejoice that my friend and colleague Mr. Dudley C. Lunt has so edited the text gathered together by Thoreau’s executors that the beach has regained its importance in the narrative. And in welcome addition to the traditional text there appears here the journal of the excursion in the month of June, 1857, when Thoreau walked the great beach alone and for the last time.

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This world is but a canvas to our imagination.

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