What are you afraid of?

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Images are not mine !!

From my journal August 7th , 201

These days all I do now I sit back and watch how some people let their fear hold them back..I have come to some amazing new realization that its true when they say ” you can’t teach an old dog new tricks ” and no matter how educated, intelligent , they keep repeating the old fear ..Don’t they know “Nobody gets out of here alive! ”
Nobody!
January 14, 2011 at 1:45am ( my notes)
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality.

You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
That’s what real love amounts to- letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending- performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act.

Pre -Norooz text in Farsi!

PRE- Norooz just got a text from my sister @ 5.49pm March 20th..I could not resist it  ( It is in Farsi) ..I so badly wanted to be with my immediate family somewhere , anywhere right now !  Iranians are so scattered ! They have been foe awhile now! For a culture where people use to thrive on being together , family values ..Indeed it has been very difficult to be so scattered ! O well , I guess c’est la vie! 😦

Happy New Year!

Persian New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL who celebrate Norooz ! I wrote this on the 21th of March 2015!

I wanted to be out in nature and be surrounded by the sea , the gulls and the salty air …I ordered a glamorous Pizza, brought in some firewoods and set out to the sea ! Yes I did put my blinders on because after all it is Spring but my garden is still underground with Ice and Snow..and then it began snowing even harder..But I’m tough girl , I mean for love sakes I surf and dive in this weather, then I suddenly got really homesick and thought of the ones I love who are far away ! My mom, my time in Iran almost two years ago around new year , the smell of the earth in Spring in Tehran , the aroma of the bazaar , the colorful sound of Haji Firooz and I thought of Aazan of Rashed ( prayers before Saleh Tahveel ( When winter turns into spring) and they blast it all over Iran ! In all my beloved father came to mind who used to blast it in our house where we sat for tea, Pastries and when we would open Hafiz to know our fortune by the poet..it was our tradition , my father was traditional man , not religious but traditional , he was like the father in “The Fiddler on The Roof ” ( one of his favorites) ..I thought of my sister and her husband , the adult kids of my sister ! This afternoon I ran into Royce’s ( my sweet cat ) hospital bills before he passed away..And then I broke down In my car and began to cry ! Just sat there for a few minutes, stared at the snowing sky and cried ! But continued ! I went to the sea and ask the sea to lift my spirit and It did ! I began shooting ..I talked to one of my favorite birds , The Gull..I asked to be strong like a gull ..then I thought of my favorite tree and I said , in this weather I would have ” snow falling on cedar ” like Kyoto ..I drove to my tree …and then in this small town I ran into George , lol ..The only car out in the snow ..he said ” what the hell are you doing here? ” I said ” well I have this tree I love , you are looking at it ” ..so we chatted and he saw the tree too..we took some pictures ..not to mention George is a fabulous photographer but not as fabulous as me !!!! Yes , it is cold and it snowed ..and yes , I’m fed up with it too..but I’m looking forward to have new year filled with newness ! I feel it!


I’m looking forward to have another quiet evening by the fire and eat a few slices of Pizza..I’m happy because simple is good!
PS : O , yeah I fell on my behind on Ice ( I’m fine ) ..

And I think the images are sweet for my ” time squared ” series..
George , BTW , that’s your car above the gull I just noticed !!!

Hemingway! Summertime..

If you know me well then you know how deeply I’m in love with Big Papa , Ernest Hemingway..He represents many essence and memories in my life ..

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One is of my father , who was similar in his poetic ways, and just like E.H masculine with a masculine view of life! Yet my dad unlike Hemingway loved animals ( Ernest did in his ways of the old days of thunder) and later changed..My father was in love with my mother and Ernest at last found love..

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it was ” The old man and The sea ” and my father’s persistence of his love to the story and his own resemblance that brought me to KeyWest! KeyWest is my solace and in few weeks I will be heading there to be with Papa , the cats, the tall trees , the blue pool, his chairs ……And to sit in the infamous patio by the pool and write for hours in my poetry book..

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These images are reminders of Summer..and ” The Dangerous Summer ” by E.H..where Hemingway went to Spain searching for youth and found mortality and madness.

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He lived all his life with his own mano a mano between nonfiction and fiction, primarily believing that fiction was supreme. He told George Plimpton that ”you make something through your invention that is not a representation but a whole new thing truer than anything true and alive, and you make it alive, and if you make it well enough, you give it immortality.”

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The Dangerous Summer is a nonfiction book by Ernest Hemingway published posthumously in 1985 and written in 1959 and 1960. The book describes the rivalry between bullfighters Luis Miguel Dominguín and his brother-in-law, Antonio Ordóñez, during the “dangerous summer” of 1959. It has been cited as Hemingway’s last book.

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Look beyond and look into.. ( Hope and love for all ) -Iran

Good morning! I could not resist to match this poem to a face I got to know in the middle of the desert in Iran! I kept reading it and reading it and thought of hope , love and for everyone! Some of the children were of Persian origin ( mainly nomadic) and some were Afghans and due to the wars were living in refuge camps…

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“…eventually tides will be the only calendar you believe in…
And someone’s face, whom you love, will be as a star
Both intimate and ultimate,
And you will be heart-shaken and respectful.
And you will hear the air itself, like a beloved, whisper
Oh let me, for a while longer, enter the two
Beautiful bodies of your lungs…
Look, and look again.
This world is not just a little thrill for your eyes.
It’s more than bones.
It’s more than the delicate wrist with its personal pulse.
It’s more than the beating of a single heart.
It’s praising.
It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving.
You have a life- just imagine that!
You have this day, and maybe another, and maybe
Still another…
And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope.
I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is.
I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned,
I have become younger.
And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?
Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world. ”
― Mary Oliver, Evidence: Poems

4 copy

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